Our sexuality plays a large role in our satisfaction with our lives and identities. Sexual relationships can enrich our lives, but if we aren’t intentional, can hurt or disillusion us. Approach your sexual needs with compassion and care so that you can perform at your peak. Here are 5 keys to protect your sexual health—and have a great time in bed!
1. Develop Goals for Your Sexual Health
Whether you’re single or married, your sex life will thrive when you are intentional by developing goals. Your sex life won’t improve on its own.
If you’re single, realize that each sexual relationship has an aftermath. Your body is chemically bonding with every partner you have sex with, even if it’s on a casual basis. Studies show 78% of women and 72% of men felt regret after uncommitted sex. Your choices are your own, but you have the responsibility to care for and respect your body.
2. Bond with Your Partner
Most people experience the best sex with partners they feel connected to. Women especially tend to enjoy sex the most when they feel safe and cared for. Take time to bond with your partner outside the bedroom, then bring that connection back to your sexual encounters.
This may mean going on a date, cooking a meal together, or doing something adventurous, like traveling or kayaking. Whatever it is, spend intentional time with your partner so you can be reminded what made you appreciate them in the beginning.
3. Communicate Your Needs
Men and women tend to have vastly different expectations when it comes to sex. Each person brings their own history, traumas, and expectations. The most important thing you can do to improve your sex life is to communicate your needs with your partner.
Your partner can’t read your mind! Let them know what makes you feel good, when you feel relaxed, and what turns you on. In return, ask your partner what you can do for them. There may be nights you or your partner is exhausted and not ready for sex; save sex for another night, and just spend time with one another.
4. Engage in Self-Care
Sex will be most fulfilling when you have taken the time to take care of yourself. If you’re stressed, don’t just run straight to bed to have your partner make you feel better. Instead, take responsibility for your body and emotions.
Take yourself on a date, give yourself a spa night, read an inspiring book – each person will turn to something different. Also care for your sexual health by visiting your doctor, eating well, and exercising.
5. Plan Ahead
Spontaneity is great, but there’s two people to the relationship! With your partner, plan a night when both of you will be relaxed and have time to enjoy one another. A plan actually gives you greater freedom to create a sensual environment, build excitement, and ensure that you feel ready to make love with your partner.
Khalil Gibran, Lebanese-American poet, wrote “When love beckons you to you, follow him, though his ways are hard and steep.” Sexual health may not be easy, but it’s worth pursuing for your sake—and the sake of the one you love.